I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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