Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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