You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
high people should be assigned attendants
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize