I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize