Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize