I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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