i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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