Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude i'm inner monologue high
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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