Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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