A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize