i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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