physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize