just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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