I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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