Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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