if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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