Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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