I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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