He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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