State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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