So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize