Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am puke
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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