Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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