He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize