i don't like sucking hair
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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