I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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