she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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