you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize