he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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