I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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