Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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