Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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