So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize