Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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