just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
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I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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