Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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