Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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