My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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