so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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