I should be sponsored by Trojan
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize