WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize