MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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