I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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