I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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