Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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