I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize