There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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