i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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