Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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