idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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